…So that your kid is less likely to need therapy in 20 years.
I have seen a lot of other blogs doing these variations on lists such as “100 Ways to be Nice to Your Kids” and “30 days to a Better Relationship with Your Kids” and the suggestions are mostly obvious and not all that creative. I pondered for about 10 minutes writing one of my own to see if I could do better.
But instead I’m doing this.
Things to Do Instead of Losing Your Mind So that Your Kid Is Less Likely to Need Therapy:
3. Yell at cat
4. Try to recite Titania’s monologe from “Midsummer Night’s Dream”
5. Forage for snacks
6. Read Vogue and pretend you are in a hotel room by yourself
7. Consider the many uses of baby wipes
8. Decide on the next scent of candle you will buy
9. Pin that candle on Pinterest
10. Find a childhood photo of yourself and think about what an awesome kid you were
11. Decide your mom had it so easy (Hi mom!)
12. Refill the ice-cube trays
13. Eat a cashew and wonder if it’s the same size as your cat’s kidney
14. Put on a hat
15. Type “ways to get rid of” into google to see the most common searches
16. Yell at the cat in another language
17. Open the fridge to see if you want anything
18. Compose a limerick about how you feel, or a haiku. Don’t attempt the sonnet. It will push you over the edge.
20. Open the fridge again to see if you want something you didn’t want before
21. Yell at the cat that there’s nothing good to eat
22. Update your Facebook that the cat never gets you any good snacks/is ruining your life
23. Decide to write a list of ways to chill and not lose your mind and only make it to 23
*By which I mean, not to COMPLAIN about your kids in your status updates. Unless it’s hilarious.